Erised
by shakespeare's sister
Summary: The Mirror of Erised turns up in the staff room, and Professor Snape finds it troubling. Oneshot RLSS.


He saw himself in the Mirror, of course, but he had been expecting that and paid his alter ego no mind. Far more interesting than seeing his own brown eyes and big nose was the other man in the mirror.

This man was fairly nondescript - average height, on the skinny side, greying hair, glasses - but he could not stop staring.

'The Mirror must be broken,' he said crossly to the staff room that he was sure had been empty five minutes ago.

'What makes you say that, Severus?' came a voice from the sofa, and he jumped.

Gathering his composure, he managed to spit out, 'Because it is not showing me my heart's desire,' in his normal tone of voice.

Professor Lupin, for such it was, untangled himself from the blanket he had been reposing under and padded over in his socks to the mirror.

He peered in short-sightedly.

'Are you sure you didn't see your heart's desire?' he said mildly. 'Seems to be working fine to me.'

'So you saw your heart's desire?' Snape could not manage to hide his curiosity entirely, and the perceptive Defence professor caught it and smiled with his back to the other man.

'Oh yes.'

There was a silence as Snape fought down the urge to ask him what he had seen.

'It's such a bad idea to have it in the staff room!' he said eventually.

'Yes; I do wonder why Albus put it in here.'

'The headmaster installed this menace in here? I had no idea! That is a terribly irresponsible thing to do. People have been known to be driven mad by the sight of things they want but may not have!' Snape snapped. 'I shall ask him to remove it.'

He turned back to it, and noticed his own expression. His face was transformed; he was barely recognisable. The scowl that he wore permanently was gone, replaced by a most undignified grin.

'I'm sure he has his reasons. There are plenty of hidden places he could have stored it in, so he must have chosen to put it here.'

Snape's unshakeable loyalty to Albus Dumbledore did battle with his annoyance at the sight of his happy self with the unremarkable man and lost, the sight of his grinning image more than he could bear.

'He ought not to have it in here,' he muttered darkly, and tried to lift the mirror from the wall. It would not budge and, with a sinking feeling, he guessed that the cause of its obstinacy was some sort of charm. If Dumbledore did not want the mirror removed, no one would be able to remove it.

'You ought to stop looking at it, Severus. It is not going to do you any good.'

'I know that!' _It's just that I look so very different._

'It's difficult, isn't it, to see something that would make your life feel complete, but that you cannot obtain.'

The question was rhetorical, but Snape did not notice.

'It is difficult,' he agreed, far too emphatically. 'It can't stay here!'

Lupin had sat back down but he had donned his spectacles and was watching the other teacher narrowly.

'It seems to have upset you quite a lot,' he said evenly.

'Of course it has, you fool. Though who could expect a beast like you to understand the somewhat more acute feelings of a human?'

Lupin recoiled. He took off his glasses again and polished them for something to do. It had been a very long time since his colleague had thrown his lycanthropy at him like that, like an insult. He had clearly touched a nerve, and this hurt was his punishment. He felt suddenly reckless.

'Would you not like to know what I see?' he asked softly. 'Then you can judge for yourself if the feelings of a werewolf are as sensitive as your own.'

Snape tore his gaze away from the mirror where he and his - companion - appeared to be holding hands. He shrugged, unable to admit how much he wanted to know.

Lupin stood up once more, glasses perched on his nose, and walked over to where Snape still stood before the mirror. He stood next to him and looked at it once more.

'I can show you,' he said. 'There is a spell… I found it in a book that Albus lent me, only last week.'

He fumbled in his pocket for his wand, withdrew it, and cast the spell.

'It has not worked,' Snape said impatiently. 'I cannot see it.'

'Look in the mirror, Severus,' said Lupin, with a funny sort of smile on his face. 'Are you certain?'

He had been, and yet - was it his imagination, or had certain nuances been changed? He thought perhaps that the other man in the mirror had had shorter hair before… and hadn't he been wearing glasses?

'I don't know,' he said, puzzled.

'There is a way to find out, you know. I could tell you the spell, and you could show me what you see.'

The expression on Snape's face could have been construed as amusing had the fear not been so stark and real.

'I don't know if I can,' he said quietly, looking from the nondescript man in the mirror to the man standing next to him with a peculiarly soft expression on his tired face.

'What are you afraid of?' he asked, so gentle that Snape did not take exception.

'I - I…'

'Or you could just tell me.'

'I can't tell you.' Barely audible.

'Do you think I don't already know?'

Snape's eyes were wide, fear still but something else was rising in him, and to Lupin it looked like hope.

'They are the same, are they not? What you see, and what I see?'

'Do you know, I think they must be.'

'But I couldn't - I didn't - how can I not know my own desires?'

'Are you sure you do not know them, Severus?' Lupin asked him softly, and he took a step closer.


End file.
